- **By**: [[a true blue blog]] - **Date Published**: - **Date Read**: 2025-02-20T00:01:17+00:00 - [**Read Original**](https://trueblue.bearblog.dev/on-being-mildly-online/) - **Tags**: #Technology #Simple_Living **Note:** Below is the text from an online article – none of the writing is by me. *16 Feb, 2025* After having spent all my teenage years being chronically online, I didn't realize I've recently made an effort in the last few years to only be *mildly* online. Certainly there is no one sure-fire way to measure social media addiction. That is to say, the severity of my actions will most likely differ from yours. I'm writing this, maybe as a look back or so I don't go back to my old habits but really, it was a conversation with r that did it. She was telling me about her day when she mentioned a joke that she told her classmates about our valentine's day activities. She referenced a meme when replying to a question on what we're doing for the occasion. Everyone who heard her answer laughed! And I... didn't get it. For a second there, I was stripped of my youth. I also felt embarrassed, having to be the one to ask what it could mean when, in the past, *I* used to know all the memes and would reference them all the time right after I've shared it to everyone else I know. But I also realized there's a reason it came to this. This is just one effect of a couple of years long of daily, compounding effort of me getting this addiction out of my system. I've never spoken to anyone else about it before aside from r. Neither have I ever given life to these intentions through writing it down or marking a day in the calendar when I will stop. It just faded. And sometimes I even forget I was the person that would post a picture of her socks for no apparent reason (*nothing wrong in doing that*) just to get the high of receiving likes and hearts and all the other plethora of social media reactions (*something definitely wrong with this*). I can't picture baring myself on the Internet in such a way ever again and/or being ferociously up-to-date with everything happening on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. It is also so belittling of my efforts and would be inaccurate to relate this to my age by simply saying *I grew up*, so I want to write about what I did, what changed and how it started. ## turning notifications off This was how it started (I think): I watched *The Social Dilemma* on Netflix and at the same time I just started my tech degree. There are some realizations and lightbulb moments, both in the documentary and in class. I didn't uninstall the apps yet at first because I couldn’t, and through the first years I did, then reinstalled because I couldn’t help it... But the notifications stayed off since the day of the documentary-watching because it was the experts’ call to action by the end. Then it became a thing I do: after installing any kind of app, I must immediately **turn off notifications** (or choose not to allow it when the app asks for permission). The result is a quiet phone and less digital clutter. One more essence of it is further establishing the fact that my phone is *mine* and I choose for it **not** to be an advertising tool. Turning notifications off is a great first step. Try it. You can even do it right now in just a few minutes! I trust of course you know which apps you actually *need* notifications for and maybe trust me back a little that you will be too lazy to turn it on again for the ones that are only actually noise. This is a start on feeling like you have complete control over your phone time because the next time you do check your phone, it will be on your own volition or for something that truly requires your attention. ## make it inaccessible My phone has a *Digital Wellbeing* app that lets me set allocated minutes for each app. I used that. It worked a little bit somehow, but I lose respect for myself each time I delete the limit because on some days I feel like I am entitled to more minutes because I’ve been productive or something bad happened and that I really need a distraction so extending it would be deserving. Eventually, I uninstalled the apps and kept at it even if it became a cycle until it just stopped. Social media platforms I use have web counterparts, anyway, so I turned to that. Of course that was useful for me because setting up the laptop or turning my PC on takes a bit more effort and is not as portable as the phone. ***You can just uninstall things***. These days, I still maintain my Instagram because I want to post about my girlfriend and life updates, but these happen maybe once a month. So what I do is to install when I have something to post, stay a while to check on friends (keep the app for 1-2 days), then after that I uninstall it, run the phone cleaner then repeat when I have new pictures I want to share again. I am a huge fan of cooking and foodie videos, that I used to spend hours on end watching reels. I still watch these kinds of videos but on Youtube now and on the desktop. I do try to pick the longer ones (avoiding Shorts and turning recommendations off). So, finding alternatives. The goal here was to make it harder for me to access what is feeding my addiction. ## getting a hobby I got into reading! This is relevant because I read on my phone using the Pocketbook app and after limiting and depriving myself from the other apps, I find myself having more time than ever before so I read. Instead of scrolling, I read. I binge-read, but anything was better than frying my brain with scrolling. Now, my phone has become important to me not in a social context but for one that is for my own self-development. This is more on the time management aspect. I was bound to have more time. It is through spending it wisely, in a way of finding more activities which are healthier and more fulfilling. ## having my own space on the internet Welcome to [my blog](https://trueblue.bearblog.dev/) (!!) This is the last major and most recent development of my staying mildly online. If you’re here reading this and/or you have your own blog, you must know this is the best alternative of all. My participation in the small web feels like resistance to whatever fuckery is going on in the walled gardens of social media platforms. Having a blog is being digitally social without being preyed upon, especially on a platform like Bear. I learn so much here everyday. It is through having my own blog I discovered RSS and guestbooks and personal email correspondence and what a wonder all of it is. Having a space for yourself and *choosing* only what you want to read or consume. Having my blog just seals the deal to me when it comes to never going back to being addicted to social media because I like my blog. It feels very mine all mine (for more of my feelings, I have a previous post *[on having a blog](https://trueblue.bearblog.dev/on-having-a-blog-the-cage-is-all-ive-ever-known/)*). *A segue: thank you to everyone here, to my fellow gardeners, the readers, creators, and writers. What we're doing here is what I honestly think the Internet is made for.* ## lastly, being intentional I’ve listed down what mostly affected my transition from being chronically online to being mildly online. After all these tips, It’s not just spending less hours on my phone or switching things up. If someone would mug me tomorrow and steal my phone, I would definitely, definitely have less phone time because I do not have the financial capability to replace it immediately (lol). And if somehow the Internet connection is interrupted forever, what then? Would it eliminate all my problems? In my case, I wouldn’t think so. I’ll probably have some other way to get a fix and a dose of dopamine offline because it’s all so very physical. In the end, it was about realizing what I actually want from my life. ***How we spend our days is how we spend our life.*** I imagined it’s going to look bleak, growing older and reminiscing a me that was on her phone all the time. And there was a kind of shame writing in my journal about my day, where I was just on my phone. My biggest fear is nearing the end of my life and it’s going to dawn on me that I have nothing to show for it. I realized I wanted to do more interesting things. There had to be something more to *this*, of a life where the days just pass me by and I’m not intentional nor mindful of what I’m doing. So, a tldr: I touched grass. I made my vision boards. I made to-do lists. I wrote in my journal, I wrote on my blog, I talked to my friends and made new ones in the past year. I wrote about my intentions and finally, it felt like ***I have a life that is mine***. I started this about how I changed in the past couple of years in regards to being online and my never-ending journey of being free from what is expected of me. But, there is more to it; regaining control of my digital self, being intentional of how I live, and realizing I have a choice in this day and age of late stage capitalism and tech not being what it used and supposed to be. I didn’t know then if I’m ever going to actually do it. I don’t know now who I will be in the next few years. I don’t know if I can ever complete my goals. And that is perfectly fine. What matters is what I am doing now. The only thing I’m certain of is that I anchor myself with my intentions and I am trying everyday. ***The act of trying is enough***. I'll get back to everyone and give an update about all my other goals in life in the next few years like how I did with this one. For the meantime and for my closing remark, I promise to forgive and be kind to myself as I go. Thanks for coming this far. I hope you have a great week ahead ^^ --- Further reading<sup class="footnote-ref" id="fnref-1"><a href="https://trueblue.bearblog.dev/on-being-mildly-online/#fn-1">1</a></sup>: - [No, really, it's an addiction](https://drmollytov.bearblog.dev/no-really-its-an-addiction/) by [dr molly tov](https://drmollytov.bearblog.dev/) - [The Small Web Is Great](https://andysblog.uk/the-small-web-is-great/) by [Andy's Blog](https://andysblog.uk/) - [Art and Social Media: Pleasing everyone is dumb](https://anubiarts.bearblog.dev/art-and-social-media-5/) by [AnubiBlog](https://anubiarts.bearblog.dev/art-and-social-media-5/) - [Tech needs to slow down - or we do](https://dostoynikov.com/tech-needs-to-slow-down-or-we-do/) by [dostoynikov](https://dostoynikov.com/) [^fn-1]: A mini post roll if you will. For more similar posts, searching for *social media* on the [Discover page](https://bearblog.dev/discover/search/) is a great start.[↩](https://trueblue.bearblog.dev/on-being-mildly-online/#fnref-1) [#life](https://trueblue.bearblog.dev/blog/?q=life)