NOTE: create ‘Nan’ alias - Nan used to live here according to Dad. Somewhere on the right he said. - ![[IMG_0277.jpg|200]] ## [[2024-08-06]] I’ve thought a lot about Nan and our holidays to Dubai whilst on this trip to Malta. How lucky I was. How I didn’t appreciate us all together as a family. How I didn’t appreciate the wonder of the hotel and the fancy flights. I don’t think I’ll taste that again. The sense of family, nor the sense of luxury. It’s made this trip a bit sad and melancholic. And it all bubbled over the in the sea and I had a cry. I told Abigail that I’d been thinking about my Nan a lot this holiday and I started to cry a little. Luckily she didn’t ask me too many questions, just gave me a hug and a kiss. Because otherwise I would have blubbed. And as she dropped eaves on a couple in the sea I continued to dwell and think about my Nan. When she headed out of the sea I stayed behind for the first time on this trip. As she walked in, I walked out deeper, as far away from people as I could. And I just spent 10-20 minutes thinking. Reminiscing. And as I did I cried deeper. I wouldn’t say I said I prayer. But I certainly thought up to the heavens and said what I would say if my Nan was in front of me. I thanked her for everything. I apologised if I didn’t spent enough time with her near the end. And I said I missed her. Which I do. More in the past two weeks of this holiday than since she died. I thought what a shame it was that the two sides of the family split with her death. She was the glue. With her passing not only did I lose her, but I lost my other side of the family (or lost them to themselves really) And I thought about what she would want for me. And I think it would be fairly simple: - Lead a happy life. - Do well in life financially. - Look after [[Mum]] - And get my prostate checked often (my [[Grandad Jim]] died of it and she made me promise that I’d get it checked regularly) Thank you Nan. For everything.